Getting Older

[Gary]

I changed my car horn to gunshot sounds.
People get out of the way much faster now.

Gone are the days when girls used to cook like their mothers.
Now they drink like their fathers.

You know that tingly little feeling you get when you really like someone?
That's the common sense leaving your body.

I didn't make it to the gym today. That makes it five years in a row.

I decided to stop calling the bathroom the "John" and renamed it the "Jim"
I feel so much better saying I went to the Jim this morning.

Old age is coming at a really bad time.
When I was a child I thought "Nap Time" was a punishment.
Now, as an adult, it feels like a small vacation.

The biggest lie I tell myself is.
"I don't need to write that down, I'll remember it."

I don't have grey hair; I have "wisdom highlights." I'm just very wise.

Teach your daughter how to shoot, because a restraining order is just a piece of paper.

If God wanted me to touch my toes, He would've put them on my knees.

Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators.
We haven't met yet.

Why do I have to press one for English when you're just going to transfer me to someone I can't understand anyway?

Of course I talk to myself; sometimes I need expert advice.

At my age "Getting lucky" means walking into a room and remembering what I came in there for.

I am a Seenager. (Senior teenager) I have everything that I wanted as a teenager, only 60 years later.
I don't have to go to school or work.
I get an allowance every month.
I have my own pad.
I don't have a curfew.
I have a driver's license and my own car.

[Lupine]

^

[RJDiogenes]

I am a Seenager. (Senior teenager) I have everything that I wanted as a teenager, only 60 years later.
I don't have to go to school or work.
I get an allowance every month.
I have my own pad.
I don't have a curfew.
I have a driver's license and my own car.

This is almost me. I just have to straighten out the "not going to work" part.

[huggle]

I'm still a Teenager at heart I guess the Hippie era will always be a part of me. And while I make my parents think I turned out well, I'm really just the sort of people they always warned me of

[RJDiogenes]

Yeah, I pretty much turned out to be one of those people that my Mother warned me about. But in her senior years she's finally starting to understand that Hippies are the only ones who can save the world.