Thrilling RENEXT Adventures! - Season One

[RJDiogenes]

And so it begins! The new untold adventures of the ReNext team, saving the world in spite of themselves. Please feel free to leave your comments, criticisms, and irrelevant political opinions. And, most especially, contribute an episode or two or three!
_______________________________

Episode One: "The Werewolf"

“By the way,” says Lupy as he comes down for breakfast at ReNext HQ, “I posted a new thread in the Emergency Breaking News Forum.”

“Oh?” replies RJ, looking up from his breakfast nap. “When did you post it?”

“Last May.”

“Oops, I missed it. Checking now,” he says, booting up his laptop. “What’s it all about?”

“I saw a news item on CNN about a werewolf rampaging through a little town outside of Des Moines. Many pets’ lives have been lost.”

“Where the hell is PETA when you need them?”

“Naked, probably. Are we gonna take care of this?” Lupy cocks his pistol crossbow, which seems to appear out of nowhere.

“Yeah, let’s see who else is around. I think I saw jgc knitting an afghan in the ReNext Den.”

“Crocheting!” comes the angry correction from the other room.

Lupy sips from his coffee cup. “scotty said he was leading a Zoom seminar on the heroism of the Three Stooges this morning, but that shouldn’t take him more than five minutes.”

“Done!” announces scotty from the briefing room, as if on cue.

“All righty, then! To the VW Van, ReNexters!” exclaims RJ.

Lupy shrugs. “Not exactly ‘Avengers Assemble,’ but let me just get this coffee down and I’ll be right with you.”

*****

Two days later, the ReNext van rumbles into the town center of Derfsky, Iowa (founded 1803, population variable) and pulls over to the side of the road. There is a large commotion blocking the way.

“Well, here we are,” says RJ, shifting the manual transmission into park. “One hour after sunset on the night of the full moon. Perfect timing for finding the werewolf!”

“One hour after sunrise when the thing is exhausted and at its most vulnerable might have been more perfect,” suggests Lupy.

“Well, uh... well...”

Luckily, fearsome screaming from the center of town provides a timely distraction at that precise moment.

“Let’s go!” shouts RJ.

The four ReNexters disembark from the van and run ahead.

“Oh, gross,” says jgc. This is in reaction to the three bloody victims lying on the ground, groaning from the painful slash wounds. Some passerby have stopped to help, but apparently don’t really know what to do.

“Thank you, citizens, for coming to the aid of your fellow citizens!” shouts scotty. “Despite the fact that these people will likely die due to your incompetence, your heroism will be long remembered! Now maybe call 911 or something!”

All the bloody victims reach into their pockets and pull out their phones, but a young woman in distressed jeans says, “No, no, I’ll do it, you just rest.”

“What happened here, anyway?” calls out jgc.

“Freakin’ town werewolf got them,” says a guy in overalls and smoking a pipe. “Reckon he’s got the holler tail again.”

“Reckon so,” agree the four ReNexters, nodding.

“Fact is, he’s still in the area, so I expect all of our lives are in deadly peril,” continues the man.

The young woman in distressed jeans looks up from her iPhone. “There it is now! Look out, out-of-town lady!”

“jgc, it’s right behind you!” squeals scotty.

In a blur of motion, jgc whirls, pulling a blue-and-white afghan from underneath her coat and flings it over the leaping werewolf, netting it like an innocent dolphin in a school of trout. Tangled up, it falls to the ground, struggling.

“Nice one, jgc!” shouts Lupy, high fiving her.

Then, unexpectedly, the werewolf’s struggles subside and it reverts into a middle-aged human woman with red hair, who looks around perplexedly. “I’m naked, aren’t I?” she asks.

“Yup,” says everybody.

As the townfolk gather around, the man in overalls exclaims, “Hey, look! It’s Mayor Husky! Mayor Husky is the werewolf!”

“Of all people!” says the young woman in distressed jeans. “How ironic!”

A general murmur of agreement ripples through the townies, including the bleeding ones sprawled on the ground still waiting for medical attention.

“I suppose we’d probably get the irony if we had done more research or something,” mutters RJ.

“What I don’t understand,” says scotty, “is why she suddenly changed back to human form just as she was attacking jgc.”

“How should I know?” growls the mayor. “Stop looking at me!”

jgc holds up a corner of the Afghan that is entrapping the woman, showing off the Amish design. “See, this is my special Afghan that screens out moonbeams.”

“Wow! Brilliant thinking!” says Lupy.

“Yeah. Thinking. Sure. That was my plan all along.”

As sirens rise in the distance, probably coming from a nearby town where they at least have basic services, the ReNexters walk back toward the van.

“We should get out of here before we have to answer questions,” says RJ. “I don’t know about you guys, but I haven’t studied for a quiz in about forty-five years.”

“Yeah, let’s go,” says scotty. “I think we passed an Arby’s on the way in.”

[Lupine]

I'm surprised the werewolf turned out to be Mayor Husky. I had suspected Sheriff Fang or Dr. Moonbeam.

[RJDiogenes]

Perhaps... the attacks will continue, even with the mayor in custody.

[jgc]

[RJDiogenes]

[scottydog]

I'm collecting tropes to be included in one of the next installments

[Lupine]

My entry, somewhat delayed due to an unrelated story idea bubbling up.

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Episode 2: The Mothman


“We have another report,” RJ chimed in from his computer monitor.
“Already?” Lupy replied, incredulous, from his own computer. He had been watching a 24-part documentary on YouTube about Ediacaran fauna and he was only on episode 7.
“We have to keep busy,” RJ continued. “This one is from West Virginia, Point Pleasant to be exact.”
Lupy paused the video, which was about to go into the theorized mating practices of Anamalocaris gigantea. “Point Pleasant? The Point Pleasant?”
“The Point Pleasant.”
“What are you two going on about now?” jgc asked, coming down the stairs with her latest creation- a life-sized crochet version of Ben Browder.
“We’re going to need you to knit a butterfly net,” RJ said to her. “A big one.”
“I’ll call Scotty and Cayla,” Lupy continued. “We’re going to need all the help we can get.”

**********

Being closer to West Virginia than the rest Scotty arrived first armed with binoculars and about 75 pounds of chocolate. He cruised the town slowly, taking in the terrain, the people, and the hideous statue of the famed Mothman displayed in the middle of town. Looking rather like the offspring of Tinkerbelle and a Sleestak after an all-night bender, he noted that it looked nothing like the lengthy description Lupy had emailed him.
An hour later Cayla rolled in with her dog, Brutus, in tow. They conferred by the local McDonalds after Brutus had marked the hideous statue as his own.
“I would have liked an Arby’s,” Scotty said looking at the disappointing burger before him,
“The nearest one is in Ohio though,” Cayla replied. “Did you get that dossier RJ sent?”
Scotty pulled the old-time tape-recorder from his satchel. “I have a bad feeling about this,” he said, gingerly pressing “play”.
“Good morning, Mr. Scott, Ms. Cayla,” RJ’s voice spoke. “The picture you are looking at is a composite of the cryptid known at the Mothman. It was first sighted in this region in 1966. Since then the entity has been sighted by numerous witnesses and some have blamed it for the 1967 collapse of the Silver Bridge. It was last photographed in 2016. However recently the Mothman has been reported chasing tourists on Highway 62. Your mission, should you chose to accept it, is to locate and identify the being and if necessary stop its reign of terror- or you could wait until the rest of us get there. This tape will self-destruct in five seconds.”
Scotty and Cayla leaned back.
“It didn’t self- destruct did it?” RJ then said after the five seconds had elapsed. “Oh well, we’ll be there shortly.”
The tape ended.
“So,” Cayla then said. “how are we supposed to find this thing?”
“Drive up and down Highway 62?” Scotty suggested with a shrug. “We could pick up some chocolate from the market and…”
Tape then exploded.
“Son of a….!” Cayla exclaimed, tossing the burning tape recorder away. “That never happened in the TV series!”
Just then a rumbling slowly grew in decibel like an approaching earthquake or shoppers stampeding to a sale at Wal-Mart. A high-end looking motorhome appears on the street before them, though oddly the texture of the paneling looking strange. Rather like crochet.
“Hey, guys!” Lupy says, popping out of the side of the rolling mansion.
“Where did you get the motorhome?” Scotty asks.
“We didn’t! It’s just the WV van,” Lupy replied pulling the crochet cover off the vehicle. “jgc knitted us some camouflage!”
“Did you get my dossier?” RJ then said as he exited the van.
Cayla and Scotty both point to the smoldering cassette player on the ground.
“Hey! The self-destruct did work!”
“So,” Cayla then said as jgc exited the back of the van, busily working on her next creation. “Just what is the plan here?”
“We need a plan?” Lupy asked.
“They generally help. This Mothman has been running, or flying, around since the Johnson Administration. How are we going to catch it?”
“Because all those people had a plan and we don’t,” Lupy said, tapping the side of his head. “It will never see us coming.”
“I’m going home,” Cayla said, taking up Brutus’s leash.
“Well, I have a plan,” jgc announced.
“Sure, ruin our fun,” Lupy grumbled.
“What do you have in mind?” RJ asked.
jcg held up her newest work. “This!”

**********

The TNT Area was named after an old WWII munitions dump and not as some rumor had it due to the chili cookoff in the next town over. Highway 62 was what could be expected of the region: isolated, the side of the road overgrown with brush, and only occasional traffic after sunset. The crocheted decoy stood out, guaranteed to draw all the right attention.
The knitted cover looked exactly like a 1962 cherry red Chevrolet Corvette complete with two co-eds in the front seat. So convincing that no less than two drunken drivers stopped to proposition them, only relenting when Cayla popped out from underneath backed up by Brutus telling them to get lost.
The next couple of hours passed slowly for Lupy, Cayla, and Scotty punctuated by occasional snoring they decided to blame on Brutus. It wasn’t until just shy of 2:00 when RJ’s voice cracked over the radio.
“We have a bogy approaching from the northeast. Coming in pretty fast.”
A faint whooshing sound appeared, slowly growing in tempo.
“It’s right over head now… Coming right at you!”
An instant later the faux Corvette was lifted off them with Brutus barking furiously.
“Brutus! Fetch!” Cayla yelled as the canine lunged after the dangling decoy. The Mothman seemed confused by the flaccid prize and failed to gain altitude before Brutus latched on preventing the cryptid’s escape.
The VW van suddenly came skidding up to them.
“Get in!” RJ yelled, causing Lupy, Cayla, and Scotty to trample each other trying to get to the best seat first.
The Mothman was now trying to go vertical but Brutus’s thrashing of the crochet cover kept it grounded. Finally it dropped the camouflage and Brutus happily tore one of the co-ed’s head off and ran to the side of the road to further maul it.
“It’s going to get away!” Scotty declared, pointing out the still open door of the van.
At the sound of his voice the Mothman stopped its climb, turned towards Scotty, and dove.
“Great scott!” Scotty shouted.
“Hang on!” RJ added, turning the van into a skidding sidways slide.
The Mothman failed to turn fast enough to crashed into the side of the vehicle. jgc, with lightning reflexes, was out and wrapping the dazed eldritch abomination with nylon yarn.
A moan emanated from inside the Mothman as it sat up unsteadily.
“Now lets see who this really is,” Lupy said, seizing the head of the cryptid and pulling off the mask.
“Holy Redacted!” Scotty declared, seeing the elderly head underneath. “It’s Paul!”
“Creep!” Cayla said, smacking the man across the back of the head.
“Hey!” Paul protested.
“What are you doing?” Scotty demanded.
“I’m just trying to get people to take tours of the local sights. And I would have too if you meddling kids and your dog hadn’t stopped me.”
Once again the sound of sirens fill the distance.
“They’re playing our song again,” RJ said, heading back to the van.
Cayla and Lupy drug Paul to the side of the road.
“But, but I can give you a tour of the Greenbrier!” Paul protested as they piled back into the van. “I know a back way to Harper’s Ferry!” he continued to yell as the group began to drive off. “There’s a secret entrance to Seneca Caves!”
But all the team cared about now was when the nearest Arby’s was going to open.

[RJDiogenes]

Fantastic. And bonus points for bringing in Brutus. Nice touch.

What a great show. Netflix should be contacting us any day now.

[jgc]

You guys are great! I appreciate you working my two obsessions in, Lupy ! I'm sure Ben appreciated it as well.....

[scottydog]

Very clever bringing PAUL into the story You both have set a high bar. Feel free to generate an Episode 3. I'll work on an episode when I get home from vacation next week.