Questions Only IX: Interrogatives Abound

[RJDiogenes]

New thread!

That's very good. Elara may attract bad injuries but she never, and I mean never, succumbs to them. The book version should be titled, Gifted With Cosmic Instinct, referring to Elara's supernatural skills, not the boulders'.

Elara herself may be a strange visitor from another planet, with powers and abilities far beyond those of mortal men.

They'd have an implanted universal wi-fi and 3-D holodeck space enabling them to partake in any entertainment option on any planet in their Federation of Planets. For fun they may also make frequent visits to Earth, popping in on people to scare them bejesus out of them, or flying their craft around our planes to get a charge out of us.

Pretty good infrastructure for a pile of rubble.

Is it possible that the Professor on Gilligan's Island orchestrated the shipwreck as part of his study of human behavior?

It's very possible. It's even likely. In fact....

Is it possible that the Professor was a Martian, like Uncle Martin, and that there were many other Martians like them all over the planet, conducting similar experiments-- to determine whether they will allow us to live?

[scottydog]

That's possible, but I'd like to think all these Martians are here to conduct field studies and experiments by creating a kerfuffle of some type. They then report their results at scientific conferences back on their home planet. It would explain Hitler and Trump, who wreak havoc only to disappear under mysterious circumstances.

If you went undercover to an alien planet, what kerfuffle would you create to learn more about how that species reacts?

[RJDiogenes]

It would explain Hitler and Trump, who wreak havoc only to disappear under mysterious circumstances.

Maybe they're refugees.

If you went undercover to an alien planet, what kerfuffle would you create to learn more about how that species reacts?

I would create an innovative and philosophical Science Fiction TV show that is embraced by the most thoughtful segments of society, and becomes beloved and legendary over many years. Then I would create a remake that is ugly and awful and disdainful of the source material. Only the aliens who properly reject this remake would be allowed to live.

You are directed by a higher power to create a magazine called Kerfuffle. What would it be like?

[scottydog]

I would create an innovative and philosophical Science Fiction TV show that is embraced by the most thoughtful segments of society, and becomes beloved and legendary over many years. Then I would create a remake that is ugly and awful and disdainful of the source material. Only the aliens who properly reject this remake would be allowed to live.

I get it. What airs on TV matters. You champion the Airian race

You are directed by a higher power to create a magazine called Kerfuffle. What would it be like?

I would model it after MAD Magazine, recruiting the usual gang of idiot.



If you invested tens of millions of dollars to revive MAD Magazine, would you make it the same way it was in its glory years? Or would you re-imagine it?

[RJDiogenes]

I get it. What airs on TV matters. You champion the Airian race

"The air is the air." -- T'Pau

I would model it after MAD Magazine, recruiting the usual gang of idiot.

That is a great simulation of an old-school MAD cover. That exactly captures the sort of design that would have caught my interest.

If you invested tens of millions of dollars to revive MAD Magazine, would you make it the same way it was in its glory years? Or would you re-imagine it?

Maybe a little of both. I'd bankroll an AI that could simulate the look and feel of the magazine as it was in its heyday, but use it to satirize contemporary topics. Then I'd use the rest of the millions to create a trust fund that would subsidize the operation so we could keep the price at 40 cents Cheap!

What contemporary cartoonists do you think would be worthy of inclusion in MAD?

[scottydog]

Why, RJDiogenes, of course!



I don't read or follow cartoons the way that you do, and so I can't assemble the cartoon staff or our re-imaged MAD Magazine. I do know that we'd need Sergio Aragonés

If you could collaborate with any famous artist, living or deceased, on a cartoon project, who would it be and what would you create together?

[RJDiogenes]

Why, RJDiogenes, of course!

That logo is amazingly accurate. I'm really thinking that you have access to the upgrade.

I do know that we'd need Sergio Aragonés

The revival should be built around Sergio, like Plop! was.

If you could collaborate with any famous artist, living or deceased, on a cartoon project, who would it be and what would you create together?

So many possibilities. Since I've got an eight-page script for the origin of the Blue Cowl, I'd love to collaborate with Will Eisner on it. Will Eisner is the guy who created The Spirit. He was one of the most innovative creators in the history of Comics, and he'd be perfect for the Pulpy Noir atmosphere of Blue Cowl.

Do you think Humankind will ever make peace with Cassowarykind?

[scottydog]

That logo is amazingly accurate. I'm really thinking that you have access to the upgrade.

I think you're right. I asked for Patrick Stewart on the cover of Newsweek, and got this:



Then I asked for Kirk fighting the Gorn:

I'd love to collaborate with Will Eisner on it. Will Eisner is the guy who created The Spirit. He was one of the most innovative creators in the history of Comics, and he'd be perfect for the Pulpy Noir atmosphere of Blue Cowl.

Very cool. Reach out to him right now!

I'd love to resurrect some famous dead social psychologists to collaborate with. Guys you've never heard of -- Hal Kelley, Ned Jones, and Dave Messick.

Do you think Humankind will ever make peace with Cassowarykind?

I'll answer the question with a question -- will we soon develop a universal translator for animal language? What would the Cassowary tell us?

[RJDiogenes]

I think you're right. I asked for Patrick Stewart on the cover of Newsweek, and got this:

Yeah, you definitely have access. Pretty lucky. I've tried multiple devices and browsers and I don't have it.

Then I asked for Kirk fighting the Gorn:

I think that guy in the lower right is Gary going after pocket gophers.

Very cool. Reach out to him right now!

Unfortunately, I'd have to perform a seance, because he's been dead for decades. Even his protege, Mike Ploog, is fairly elderly. That makes me wonder if Ploog is still doing commissions, though.

I'd love to resurrect some famous dead social psychologists to collaborate with. Guys you've never heard of -- Hal Kelley, Ned Jones, and Dave Messick.

There's a plot: Resurrecting dead sociologists to save the world.

I'll answer the question with a question -- will we soon develop a universal translator for animal language? What would the Cassowary tell us?

I do think that AI will be able to fairly quickly either translate the languages of certain animals who might have languages, such as whales or dolphins or whatever, or else create artificial languages that we can use as a go between. As for the cassowary, I don't know. Birds can be surprisingly intelligent, but I don't know offhand how cassowaries rate. It would probably say something like, "Hand over the sandwich or die."

What other really frightening animals do you know about?

[scottydog]

Yeah, you definitely have access. Pretty lucky. I've tried multiple devices and browsers and I don't have it.

I'm happy to generate images for you. Just give me your prompt and I'll email the image to you.

In the meantime, I asked AI to generate an image of an old man, surrounded by trash bags, in pain from kidney stones.

Unfortunately, I'd have to perform a seance, because he's been dead for decades.

Oops. That's unfortunate. Then I should have asked you which LIVING cartoonist you'd like to collaborate with.

I do think that AI will be able to fairly quickly either translate the languages of certain animals who might have languages, such as whales or dolphins or whatever, or else create artificial languages that we can use as a go between. As for the cassowary, I don't know. Birds can be surprisingly intelligent, but I don't know offhand how cassowaries rate. It would probably say something like, "Hand over the sandwich or die."

I agree, the universal translator will reveal a rich, intricate language from smarter species like dolphins and octopi. But even simple animals like dogs will be saying amusing things like, "Get out of bed and play with me", "I want to hump that dog, no, that dog, no I mean that dog...." and "I hate going to the vet!"

What other really frightening animals do you know about?

The Cassowary is my favorite. But there are others:

The Vampire Bat has sharp teeth adapted for piercing the skin of its prey. The Hagfish are primitive, jawless fish that produce copious amounts of slime as a defense mechanism And let's not forget the Thorny Devil found in Australia, a lizard covered in spines with a distinctive, intimidating appearance.

Do any specific animals or bugs give you the creeps?

[RJDiogenes]

I'm happy to generate images for you. Just give me your prompt and I'll email the image to you.

Oh, I don't know... Teresa Graves walking a tightrope nude over Niagara Falls or something.

In the meantime, I asked AI to generate an image of an old man, surrounded by trash bags, in pain from kidney stones.

That is painfully accurate.

Oops. That's unfortunate. Then I should have asked you which LIVING cartoonist you'd like to collaborate with.

Mike Ploog has a Facebook page. I'm tempted to message him to see if he's interested.

The Vampire Bat has sharp teeth adapted for piercing the skin of its prey. The Hagfish are primitive, jawless fish that produce copious amounts of slime as a defense mechanism And let's not forget the Thorny Devil found in Australia, a lizard covered in spines with a distinctive, intimidating appearance.

Good choices.

Do any specific animals or bugs give you the creeps?

Spiders used to really creep me out, but I'm better now. Raccoons kind of weird me out, though. They're so smart and fearless. And they have little hands. And they wear masks. What is a raccoon, really, under that mask? We may never know.

Do you think that raccoons have a translatable language?

[scottydog]

Oh, I don't know... Teresa Graves walking a tightrope nude over Niagara Falls or something.

I tried that prompt and got a content warning

Spiders used to really creep me out, but I'm better now. Raccoons kind of weird me out, though. They're so smart and fearless. And they have little hands. And they wear masks. What is a raccoon, really, under that mask? We may never know.

We've had this conversation about Respect For Raccoons before. An intelligent race of raccoons would become the Klingons or the Cardassians of the galaxy.

Do you think that raccoons have a translatable language?

Absolutely. At sea, aliens are posing as dolphins and octopi. On land, they are raccoons, and in the air they are crows.

If dolphins, octopi, raccoons, and crows had just a bit more intelligence and all worked together, could they take over the planet?

[RJDiogenes]

I tried that prompt and got a content warning

I guess they closed that loophole.

If dolphins, octopi, raccoons, and crows had just a bit more intelligence and all worked together, could they take over the planet?

I doubt it. The dolphins and octopi wouldn't be much of a threat. The crows might be a bit of a problem. The worst would be the raccoons and we could drive them to extinction if we wanted.

Do they celebrate the grand day of Halloween in New Zealand?

[scottydog]

The worst would be the raccoons and we could drive them to extinction if we wanted.

Would driving raccoons to extinction be considered a crime against humanity? Or animality?

Do they celebrate the grand day of Halloween in New Zealand?

I haven't asked! Damn. It's a good question. I'll ask tomorrow -- there are a few kiwis at the conference I can talk to.

Are there any circumstances under which you'd move to New Zealand?

[RJDiogenes]

Would driving raccoons to extinction be considered a crime against humanity? Or animality?

Probably a crime against nature. But they started it.

I haven't asked! Damn. It's a good question. I'll ask tomorrow -- there are a few kiwis at the conference I can talk to.

Cool. That should be interesting.

Are there any circumstances under which you'd move to New Zealand?

Well, the climate and cost of living are attractive, but I don't see myself ever leaving the US-- or even New England. Things would have to get really bad here for me to do that. And even then I'd probably relocate to somewhere in the Northern hemisphere, like Ireland or the Azores.

Have you ever visited the Azores?