rince

[NX2000]

You say:
Before our days fall into the brilliant night sky
And we learn it is all for nothing

Ask me to dance.


I ask:
Yet why not dance under the velvetblack
and the spirits of diamonds placed
by some Being's hand?

is it not better to reel
in the splendor of the night
'round a Sidhe-ring,
arm in arm with
Tumnus and Bacchus,
than to calmly waltz by prosaic daylight?

Come, mo chroi
come, join the hands under the fey light
of old mother moon,
let the sharp craggy lines of branchshadow
cut our faces apart
and bring them together again.

Let's dance the gyre of time
winding up through springtime,
the warming lá bealtaine rains
and driving down from lughnassadh sun
to samhain's chilly new year

come one then, a stóirín
and grab my hands,
and let's run between the worlds
of mortal and Sídhe
of this and there
of man and Gods.

[Santaman]

Nice one.

Bacchus huh? whisky?

[NX2000]

think older

[Santaman]

I know but yer more Irish then Roman.

[NX2000]

your point? I introduce you to the theory of intertextuality

[Captain Cisco]

That's good, NX.

[PrincessWhoopAss]

Very nice!

[NX2000]

Anything else? At all? Criticism? Literary Criticism? What it makes you see in the mind's eye?

anything?

I don't post my poetry here just to get people to say, Ooooh, purdy, I do it so I can grow as a poet, as a writer. And yes, so people can hopefully enjoy it. But I need growth folks!

[Captain Cisco]

your point? I introduce you to the theory of intertextuality

Is that anything like homotextuality, because if it is, I don't swing that way...

Anything else? At all? Criticism? Literary Criticism? What it makes you see in the mind's eye?

anything?

I don't post my poetry here just to get people to say, Ooooh, purdy, I do it so I can grow as a poet, as a writer. And yes, so people can hopefully enjoy it. But I need growth folks!
Anything else? At all? Criticism? Literary Criticism? What it makes you see in the mind's eye?

anything?

I don't post my poetry here just to get people to say, Ooooh, purdy, I do it so I can grow as a poet, as a writer. And yes, so people can hopefully enjoy it. But I need growth folks!

OK... OK... Don't get your little leprechaun shorts in a twist... Here goes. *Ahem!*

It's... REALLY good.

There. How was that? (Kidding! Kidding!)

For real:

The imagery of a dance works, as well as the theme of the night. Here's what the poem evoked for me: You depict night as a time of chaos, but also as a time of wonders that cannot be beheld in the light. A time when anything is possible, because, in the dark, the world as we see it in the daylight does not exist. It's a new world, and we can pass between the real and the fantastic during the magic hours of the night. That's the imagry I got from the poem. I liked it.

The words you used gave the impression that the poem didn't just move along its theme - it danced. Well done there.

The only thing that detracted in my opinion (and I know this is near and dear to you), was the use of the non-English words. Sort of interrupted the imagery for me, since I didn't understand the words themselves. I could guess at their meaning, but the need to stop and translate like that ruined the flow for me just a bit.

Like I said - over all, it was quite good. You have an interesting voice in your writing, and it suited the work.

[NX2000]

would you like a translation / explanation of them?

And thank you. I think having my work critiqued by people I trusted is one of the things I miss most from University.