Questions Only IX: Interrogatives Abound

[scottydog]

No, I don't think so. Maybe around $200k.

That's still quite a treasure. Have you ever considered getting it insured?

Good Boss Angels might have been Suzanne Pleshette, Teresa Graves, or Raquel Welch. Maybe Lynda Carter.

Yes to all of those. How about adding Mama Cass Elliot to the list? And I caution you -- no fat shaming

I watched Carol Burnett every week. It was always hilarious. Tim Conway and Harvey Korman made a great team.

I agree. Their sketches were fabulous, and you can still enjoy them on YouTube.

Did you watch The Gong Show back in the 70s?

Yes I did. I referred to it as The Freak Show Wasn't it kind of a novelty for its time, and rather shortlived, too?

[RJDiogenes]

That's still quite a treasure. Have you ever considered getting it insured?

No, then I'd have to organize it all and probably photograph it and create a database, and the insurance payments would just reduce its value. I'd probably have to sell the stuff to pay for it.

Yes to all of those. How about adding Mama Cass Elliot to the list? And I caution you -- no fat shaming

There's no shame in not passing the Angels physical. Actually, one time when there was an Angel vacancy, Phyllis Diller offered her services to Aaron Spelling. She said that her presence would make the other Angels seem even more beautiful. He never replied to her, she said, but I think it would have been a great idea. Not as an Angel, per se, but maybe as a competing private investigator for them to cross paths with from time to time. She really would have added something.

I agree. Their sketches were fabulous, and you can still enjoy them on YouTube.

The show is also on MeTV or Cozi.

Yes I did. I referred to it as The Freak Show Wasn't it kind of a novelty for its time, and rather shortlived, too?

It burned out pretty quickly, although it did manage to get a theatrical movie at the height of its popularity.

Okay, we've added a gadgeteer, a wise masseuse, and a competing private detective to the world of Charlie's Angels. What else would you do to expand the Angels concept?

[scottydog]

No, then I'd have to organize it all and probably photograph it and create a database, and the insurance payments would just reduce its value. I'd probably have to sell the stuff to pay for it.

That's actually all very true, unfortunately. Let's pray that you'll never succumb to fire or theft. That would be truly awful.

Phyllis Diller offered her services to Aaron Spelling. She said that her presence would make the other Angels seem even more beautiful. He never replied to her, she said, but I think it would have been a great idea. Not as an Angel, per se, but maybe as a competing private investigator for them to cross paths with from time to time. She really would have added something.

I agree 100%. She would have made an amazing addition, not as an Angel but as a mentor figure or (as you suggest) a very different kind of competitor. I'm surprised no one was bright enough or forward thinking enough to bring her into the show. She would have been a hoot if they brought her in AND allowed a slightly comedic element to her character.

Okay, we've added a gadgeteer, a wise masseuse, and a competing private detective to the world of Charlie's Angels. What else would you do to expand the Angels concept?

The secret world of Charlie would need to be illuminated and expanded. What might that secret world be, and how might you be inserted as a character in that world?

[RJDiogenes]

That's actually all very true, unfortunately. Let's pray that you'll never succumb to fire or theft. That would be truly awful.

I think the storage cave is about as safe as it can be.

I agree 100%. She would have made an amazing addition, not as an Angel but as a mentor figure or (as you suggest) a very different kind of competitor. I'm surprised no one was bright enough or forward thinking enough to bring her into the show. She would have been a hoot if they brought her in AND allowed a slightly comedic element to her character.

She would have been perfect for the occasional lighthearted episode.

The secret world of Charlie would need to be illuminated and expanded. What might that secret world be, and how might you be inserted as a character in that world?

Well, Charlie wasn't the only disembodied voice directing crime-fighting operations in the 20th century. Maybe he has some connection to the voice who gave Jim Phelps his instructions. I could be the disembodied voice that coordinates all the other disembodied voices.

Suppose the Townsend Agency were more like the IMF and Bosley had a dossier of operatives to choose from in each episode-- who could be another half dozen or so potential Angels in the mid 70s?

[scottydog]

I could be the disembodied voice that coordinates all the other disembodied voices.

That's hilarious

I'm envisioning the comical scenario where Bosley and the Angels are gathered around the speakerphone, all with puzzled looks, listening to your disembodied attempt to coordinate a large number of other disembodied voices.

Suppose the Townsend Agency were more like the IMF and Bosley had a dossier of operatives to choose from in each episode-- who could be another half dozen or so potential Angels in the mid 70s?

Great idea. I'm thinking back to that 1978 CBS video.

Bosley first pulls out two photos of Ray Walston -- one as Uncle Martin, the other as Boothby. After a moment of thought, he puts them both in the pile. Walston must play a double role in this episode.

Next is a pic of Jean Stapleton, the dingbat. In the pile she goes. She'll play dumb yet outsmart the bad guy.

Next is a photo of the phastidious Tony Randall as Felix Unger. The Townsend Agency is known for its neatness, a big reason it employs 3 women Angels to do the "dirty" work. Randall's main role is to use a dustpan to clean up the dirt spilled by Boothby the gardener.

Up next is Don Knotts. As Barney Fife, he'll team up with dingbat Stapleton as Edith Bunker, and their dualing ineptitude will be quite the spectacle.

Allen Funt is next. Bosley needs secret camera work to prosecute the bad guy.

Jamie Farr is next, his role obviously being in cross-dressing disguise.

Lily Tomlin with assume Barney's role of being head of technology.



What photos from celebs from the 40s, 50s, and 60s would you pull out?

[RJDiogenes]

I'm envisioning the comical scenario where Bosley and the Angels are gathered around the speakerphone, all with puzzled looks, listening to your disembodied attempt to coordinate a large number of other disembodied voices.

In the modern era, it would be a Zoom meeting and we'd all look like cats.

Bosley first pulls out two photos of Ray Walston -- one as Uncle Martin, the other as Boothby. After a moment of thought, he puts them both in the pile. Walston must play a double role in this episode.

Next is a pic of Jean Stapleton, the dingbat. In the pile she goes. She'll play dumb yet outsmart the bad guy.

Next is a photo of the phastidious Tony Randall as Felix Unger. The Townsend Agency is known for its neatness, a big reason it employs 3 women Angels to do the "dirty" work. Randall's main role is to use a dustpan to clean up the dirt spilled by Boothby the gardener.

Up next is Don Knotts. As Barney Fife, he'll team up with dingbat Stapleton as Edith Bunker, and their dualing ineptitude will be quite the spectacle.

Allen Funt is next. Bosley needs secret camera work to prosecute the bad guy.

Jamie Farr is next, his role obviously being in cross-dressing disguise.

Lily Tomlin with assume Barney's role of being head of technology.

All good ideas, but slightly off brand for the Angels.

What photos from celebs from the 40s, 50s, and 60s would you pull out?

Ah, let's see. For the 40s, I would use Hedy Lamarr, Fay Wray, and Anna May Wong. For the 50s, I'd use Julie Adams, Anne Francis, and Allison Hayes. And for the 60s, I'd use Anne Francis, Julie Newmar, and Eartha Kitt. Angels generally leave and are replaced one at a time, so there would be a few more as they transition through the decades.

Who would you select for those decades? And who would fill Bosley's position?

[scottydog]

Ah, let's see. For the 40s, I would use Hedy Lamarr, Fay Wray, and Anna May Wong. For the 50s, I'd use Julie Adams, Anne Francis, and Allison Hayes. And for the 60s, I'd use Anne Francis, Julie Newmar, and Eartha Kitt. Angels generally leave and are replaced one at a time, so there would be a few more as they transition through the decades.

Those are great choices. I like how you choose slightly different people for those traditional roles.

Who would you select for those decades? And who would fill Bosley's position?

Lucille Ball for sure. She'd be terrific -- sassy, saucy, and seductive. Also, Katharine Hepburn would be a natural, for the same reasons. And let's not forget the natural beauties of that era -- Jayne Mansfiled. Marilyn Monroe, Kim Novak, and Brigitte Bardot.

As for Bosley, I'd choose Ricardo Montalban if this were the 1970s, and Cary Grant if this were the 50s. The 1960s? Why Steve McQueen of course.

If you were to make a modern day Wild Wild West, what modern day actors would you cast in place of Robert Conrad and Ross Martin? And what actors from the 40s and 50s might you cast?

[RJDiogenes]

Lucille Ball for sure. She'd be terrific -- sassy, saucy, and seductive.

1940s Lucille Ball, before she went all in for comedy, would probably have made a great adventure heroine.

As for Bosley, I'd choose Ricardo Montalban if this were the 1970s

That's funny, because I was thinking of putting Herve Villechaize in there as Tattoo, as a crossover.

and Cary Grant if this were the 50s. The 1960s? Why Steve McQueen of course.

I wouldn't want the Bosley character to be a leading man type-- he needs to be a bit hapless to contrast with the Angels. For the 40s, I might pick Edward Everett Horton. For the 50s, Phil Silvers. And for the 60s, Wally Cox.

If you were to make a modern day Wild Wild West, what modern day actors would you cast in place of Robert Conrad and Ross Martin? And what actors from the 40s and 50s might you cast?

I don't like recasting, but we'd need the same basic types in sequel and prequel series. For the present, I think Chris Evans and Misha Collins might be good-- unfortunately I don't know a lot of contemporary actors. For the 40s, maybe Robert Mitchum and Lon Chaney Jr. For the 50s, Rex Reason and Warren Stevens.

Given that Gene Roddenberry claimed to be inspired by Wagon Train, what TV Western would you use as the basis of a new Space Opera?

[scottydog]

1940s Lucille Ball, before she went all in for comedy, would probably have made a great adventure heroine.

She was extremely versatile. Hollywood studios underestimated her talent in a big way, but without that underestimation we'd have never had I Love Lucy. So somehow it all worked out.

I wouldn't want the Bosley character to be a leading man type-- he needs to be a bit hapless to contrast with the Angels. For the 40s, I might pick Edward Everett Horton. For the 50s, Phil Silvers. And for the 60s, Wally Cox.

Interesting. Maybe not all leading men would work, but I think some would. Wally Cox would have been a hilarious choice. How about Paul Lynde to block?

Given that Gene Roddenberry claimed to be inspired by Wagon Train, what TV Western would you use as the basis of a new Space Opera?

Well, you probably know how much I adored The Rifleman. Chuck Connors was the kind, benevolent, morally virtuous father than I never had. So let's anoint Connors as the Captain Kirk of this new Space Opera. And don't you think he'd make a great Starfleet Captain? I feel like Chuck Connors was born for the role.

Paul Fix as Micah Torrance would make a great Dr. McCoy.

The problem is what to do with Johnny Crawford. We don't need another Wesley Crusher, one of the worst characters in Star Trek history. Could Crawford be a Nog-like character from DS9, someone who is young and eager to one day join Starfleet Academy?

[RJDiogenes]

Interesting. Maybe not all leading men would work, but I think some would. Wally Cox would have been a hilarious choice. How about Paul Lynde to block?

I like Paul Lynde. I think he would have been good in that position.

Well, you probably know how much I adored The Rifleman. Chuck Connors was the kind, benevolent, morally virtuous father than I never had. So let's anoint Connors as the Captain Kirk of this new Space Opera. And don't you think he'd make a great Starfleet Captain? I feel like Chuck Connors was born for the role.

It's funny you would pick Rifleman, because I'm pretty well convinced that the show was at least partial inspiration for DS9. The relationship between Sisko and Jake is pretty much identical, and it was probably the strongest element of the show.

Paul Fix as Micah Torrance would make a great Dr. McCoy.

He actually did play Dr Piper in "Where No Man Has Gone Before," before DeForest Kelley took over as the doctor.

The problem is what to do with Johnny Crawford. We don't need another Wesley Crusher, one of the worst characters in Star Trek history. Could Crawford be a Nog-like character from DS9, someone who is young and eager to one day join Starfleet Academy?

Jake actually grew up to be a journalist and was a reporter for the FNS during the Dominion War.

What mainstream comedy would you want to turn into a genre comedy along the lines of I Dream of Jeannie or My Favorite Martian or whatever.

[scottydog]

It's funny you would pick Rifleman, because I'm pretty well convinced that the show was at least partial inspiration for DS9. The relationship between Sisko and Jake is pretty much identical, and it was probably the strongest element of the show.

That's interesting. Given that so many people have severe father wounds, I'm surprised there aren't more shows and movies with strong father-son relationships. I remember being riveted when I witnessed a father who was nice to his children -- shows like Father Knows Best and Ozzie and Harriet come to mind.

Paul Fix as Micah Torrance would make a great Dr. McCoy.

He actually did play Dr Piper in "Where No Man Has Gone Before," before DeForest Kelley took over as the doctor.

I completely forgot that! He seemed a bit too old for that role, but it was cool seeing Micah Torrance on the bridge of the Enterprise.

What mainstream comedy would you want to turn into a genre comedy along the lines of I Dream of Jeannie or My Favorite Martian or whatever.

I'm not sure what you mean by mainstream comedy & how it differs from genre comedy

Given the success of Galaxy Quest and The Orville, are you a little surprised there isn't more sci-fi comedy?

[RJDiogenes]

I remember being riveted when I witnessed a father who was nice to his children -- shows like Father Knows Best and Ozzie and Harriet come to mind.

Lost in Space was a show like that.

I'm not sure what you mean by mainstream comedy & how it differs from genre comedy

A mainstream comedy is just a comedy without SF or Fantasy elements, like Mary Tyler Moore or Three's Company. A genre comedy could be Sci-Fi, like My Favorite Martian, or Fantasy, like I Dream of Jeannie, or mock Horror, like The Munsters. Even Batman would qualify, since it's Fantasy of a kind.

Given the success of Galaxy Quest and The Orville, are you a little surprised there isn't more sci-fi comedy?

I'm surprised those were successful. In the past few years-- or several decades, at this point-- since people stopped maturing into adulthood, shows and movies have mostly needed to be all darkly cynical to be considered adult entertainment, because that's a child's view of adulthood. I'm rather encouraged by both The Orville and Strange New Worlds, because they might be a sign that this is turning around.

So which mainstream comedy would you convert to genrehood?

[scottydog]

Given the success of Galaxy Quest and The Orville, are you a little surprised there isn't more sci-fi comedy?

I'm surprised those were successful. In the past few years-- or several decades, at this point-- since people stopped maturing into adulthood, shows and movies have mostly needed to be all darkly cynical to be considered adult entertainment, because that's a child's view of adulthood. I'm rather encouraged by both The Orville and Strange New Worlds, because they might be a sign that this is turning around.

Interesting theory you have about how the darkness of TV series ties into adult maturation. I wonder if this explains why so many TV and movie heroes have turned into anti-heroes. An immature person can't identify with a mature hero, only an immature one. I'll have to ponder this. It makes some sense. No wonder you never liked Seinfeld.

Maybe the rise of anti-heroes reflects a more cynical view of traditional authority figures and institutions, mirroring widespread skepticism and disillusionment with society. I believe this is called "postmodernism". In postmodernism, there's a rejection of the traditional narrative of the "hero's journey," where a morally upright protagonist defeats a clearly defined villain. Instead, postmodern narratives feature antiheroes who lack conventional heroic qualities, or who may even be morally ambiguous or flawed. Maybe people today harbor a postmodern skepticism towards traditional moral absolutes and grand narratives.

I've read that this kind of postmodern thinking began with JFK's assassination and was reinforced by the Watergate scandal and other major events that undermined confidence in society and heroism in general. What are your thoughts?

A mainstream comedy is just a comedy without SF or Fantasy elements, like Mary Tyler Moore or Three's Company. A genre comedy could be Sci-Fi, like My Favorite Martian, or Fantasy, like I Dream of Jeannie, or mock Horror, like The Munsters. Even Batman would qualify, since it's Fantasy of a kind.

Ahh. Thanks for clarifying. I never made these distinctions before, and they make sense.

So which mainstream comedy would you convert to genrehood?

Well, you know how much I loved (and still love) the old Frasier series. Do you remember that the character of Daphne claimed to have psychic visions? No one took them seriously and these visions played an inconsequential role in the series. But what if Daphne's dreams and visions became more bizarre and were always prescient? She might inform Niles that she had a vision of him growing a third arm and a second head. Then sure enough, on that day, while in session with a client, he'd sprout an extra arm and head.

That would be a sci-fi version of Frasier, but we might also enjoy a porn version I think Jane Leeves in her prime was gorgeous, so let's see sex scenes with Niles and Daphne Curiously, I have much less interest in seeing Frasier have sex with his girlfriends. I'm not sure why.

Do you have any ideas for mainstream comedy conversions?

[RJDiogenes]

Interesting theory you have about how the darkness of TV series ties into adult maturation. I wonder if this explains why so many TV and movie heroes have turned into anti-heroes. An immature person can't identify with a mature hero, only an immature one. I'll have to ponder this. It makes some sense. No wonder you never liked Seinfeld.

Oh, yeah, that was painfully childish.

I've read that this kind of postmodern thinking began with JFK's assassination and was reinforced by the Watergate scandal and other major events that undermined confidence in society and heroism in general. What are your thoughts?

That wasn't the first time a leader was assassinated, even in American history, and Watergate was far from the first scandal. If any current events from the 60s and 70s can be attributed as contributing to the trend, I'd say it was Vietnam (along with Korea). That was the first time in our history we waged an immoral war.

But what if Daphne's dreams and visions became more bizarre and were always prescient? She might inform Niles that she had a vision of him growing a third arm and a second head. Then sure enough, on that day, while in session with a client, he'd sprout an extra arm and head.

And the question would arise whether she was foretelling things or causing things.

That would be a sci-fi version of Frasier, but we might also enjoy a porn version I think Jane Leeves in her prime was gorgeous, so let's see sex scenes with Niles and Daphne

If we discover how to visit alternate realities, most people would go for the ones where Germany won WWII or Kennedy survived, but my first destination would be the universe where nudity is common in movies and TV. Then I'd sit back and enjoy my new DVD sets of Star Trek, Mary Tyler Moore, Get Christie Love, Charlie's Angels, Three's Company, and so on, ad infinitum.

Do you have any ideas for mainstream comedy conversions?

How about a version of Mary Tyler Moore where Mary Richards, reporter, moonlights as a masked, scantily clad superheroine named Ms Moonlight. In this version, Rhoda is a Gypsy Witch whose spells give Mary enhanced abilities and who uses her crystal ball to aid in the fight against crime.

Or how about a monsterfied version of Three's Company where Chrissy and Janet are the last two surviving Brides of Dracula and Jack is a Renfield-type character who is under their hypnotic control?

Or a version of Bob Newhart where Bob is a criminal psychologist working as a private investigator who is always running into bizarre supernatural menaces. Emily is his assistant and bodyguard.

What else have you got?

[scottydog]

Oh, yeah, that was painfully childish.

I enjoyed Seinfeld because the writing was excellent and the characters' childishness was never rewarded. They always paid the price for their stupidity.

...my first destination would be the universe where nudity is common in movies and TV. Then I'd sit back and enjoy my new DVD sets of Star Trek, Mary Tyler Moore, Get Christie Love, Charlie's Angels, Three's Company, and so on, ad infinitum.

I can get on board with that. But sometimes a little mystery is a good thing. For example, a gorgeous woman in a bikini can be more titillating than a naked woman because the bikini adds a bit of mystery.

How about a version of Mary Tyler Moore where Mary Richards, reporter, moonlights as a masked, scantily clad superheroine named Ms Moonlight. In this version, Rhoda is a Gypsy Witch whose spells give Mary enhanced abilities and who uses her crystal ball to aid in the fight against crime.

Excellent idea. In her prime, Mary Tyler Moore was beautiful.

Or a version of Bob Newhart where Bob is a criminal psychologist working as a private investigator who is always running into bizarre supernatural menaces. Emily is his assistant and bodyguard.

This is a terrific idea. Did Bob Newhart ever play serious roles? He'd make a great semi-comedic Columbo-type character.

What else have you got?

How about a version of Bewitched where Samantha Stevens is crime-fighting porn star who goes after the criminal element in the porn industry? Darrin, also a porn star, would be her sidekick, and sometimes the two of them would need help from Andorra and/or Uncle Arthur to defeat the bad guys.

What well-known comedy series might John Wayne have done well in the lead role?